Everything starts somewhere, but the beginning for me started a few years ago. I'll visit the past now and then. However, for the most part, I'll stay with the present or recent past.
This past Sunday, my wife and I went to the Seattle Pride Parade. It's always one of my favorite events in the city. However, with my wife having one of her wheelchair days, the experience was a little different.
We made sure to get a spot early enough so that we would be able to see from a sitting position. After a while, we had our first issue. As the crowd became a little more dense, a group of crowd-goers inched their way in front of us. I had to tell one of them, as they looked back with what seemed to be a checking look, that my wife could not stand up to see, unlike them. At first, one of them offered to push her up more. I'm pretty sure that the look on my face made it clear that that was not an option. So, they moved with silence.
Next, a new crowd-goer stood immediately behind my wife's chair. I don't mean that she was close, I mean that she was touching us both. At first, they were just getting closer. Soon, my arm, which was around my wife, was now being pushed by this person from behind. While they had a camera up, taking pictures of the parade, they also set their camera down onto my wife's head four times. FOUR TIMES! Was my wife then just an object? They also ended up just staying pressed up against us, which was pretty gross considering that we were sitting and they were standing. Just picture that for a minute. (Why didn't I say anything? My wife wanted peace that day, so I let it be.) After about a hour, that person finally started moving away from us for better picture-taking.
After that one, there was another crowd-goer that was standing just behind my wife to her side (back right). As that person was enjoying their friend time, my wife was bumped a few times. It wasn't hard, but with her autoimmune issues and the fact that we were in a car accident three days earlier, even small bumps pain her. But, that wasn't the real problem. The real problem came with that person acknowledged the bumping. They apologized, but then tried to make light of it. They grabbed both handles of the wheelchair, shook them hard a few times, and joked that the bumping might as well have been an earthquake. Yes, so why did they insist on demonstrating? Not good.
Later, a small group of crowd-goers began inching their way in front of my wife, little by little. They ended up blocking half of my wife's view by standing way too close to her. But, still, I let peace reign. We left after about an hour and a half after the parade began.
What can be taken from this? To those who encounter others in a wheelchair: Please treat a wheelchair as an extension of the person's body. Do not touch it without permission. Do not continue to 'accidentally' bump it; the person using it may have a condition that causes them pain, but you cannot see that. If you are at a large event, like a parade or concert, do not stand where you are blocking the person in the wheelchair; they cannot move to a more convenient area like you can. Do not offer to move that person; it's like someone offering to pick you up and move you from where you are standing. Weird, right? Ditto.
Remember, some disabilities, like autoimmune diseases, are like magic... now you see it, now you don't.
This past Sunday, my wife and I went to the Seattle Pride Parade. It's always one of my favorite events in the city. However, with my wife having one of her wheelchair days, the experience was a little different.
We made sure to get a spot early enough so that we would be able to see from a sitting position. After a while, we had our first issue. As the crowd became a little more dense, a group of crowd-goers inched their way in front of us. I had to tell one of them, as they looked back with what seemed to be a checking look, that my wife could not stand up to see, unlike them. At first, one of them offered to push her up more. I'm pretty sure that the look on my face made it clear that that was not an option. So, they moved with silence.
Next, a new crowd-goer stood immediately behind my wife's chair. I don't mean that she was close, I mean that she was touching us both. At first, they were just getting closer. Soon, my arm, which was around my wife, was now being pushed by this person from behind. While they had a camera up, taking pictures of the parade, they also set their camera down onto my wife's head four times. FOUR TIMES! Was my wife then just an object? They also ended up just staying pressed up against us, which was pretty gross considering that we were sitting and they were standing. Just picture that for a minute. (Why didn't I say anything? My wife wanted peace that day, so I let it be.) After about a hour, that person finally started moving away from us for better picture-taking.
After that one, there was another crowd-goer that was standing just behind my wife to her side (back right). As that person was enjoying their friend time, my wife was bumped a few times. It wasn't hard, but with her autoimmune issues and the fact that we were in a car accident three days earlier, even small bumps pain her. But, that wasn't the real problem. The real problem came with that person acknowledged the bumping. They apologized, but then tried to make light of it. They grabbed both handles of the wheelchair, shook them hard a few times, and joked that the bumping might as well have been an earthquake. Yes, so why did they insist on demonstrating? Not good.
Later, a small group of crowd-goers began inching their way in front of my wife, little by little. They ended up blocking half of my wife's view by standing way too close to her. But, still, I let peace reign. We left after about an hour and a half after the parade began.
What can be taken from this? To those who encounter others in a wheelchair: Please treat a wheelchair as an extension of the person's body. Do not touch it without permission. Do not continue to 'accidentally' bump it; the person using it may have a condition that causes them pain, but you cannot see that. If you are at a large event, like a parade or concert, do not stand where you are blocking the person in the wheelchair; they cannot move to a more convenient area like you can. Do not offer to move that person; it's like someone offering to pick you up and move you from where you are standing. Weird, right? Ditto.
Remember, some disabilities, like autoimmune diseases, are like magic... now you see it, now you don't.
